


Step by step

by Happy_Smiling_Things



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, but everything's okay in the end don't worry, some fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23179897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Smiling_Things/pseuds/Happy_Smiling_Things
Summary: Nicole and Waverly have been dancing around their problems for some time now, and it might be backfiring now…
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 2
Kudos: 114





	Step by step

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> Here's my first wayhaught one-shot, let's hope you enjoy it!
> 
> This one goes to my gang. Fellow Stetson stans, you're the best, love you all.

It had been a week, but things were still strange between them. Tense.

Waverly hadn’t put too much thoughts on it at first, things had been crazy lately so maybe Nicole just needed some space to process everything.

She had been distant though, and her smile had been more restrained. She still was attentive and kind and gentle, but… more reserved.

She had tried to talk to Nicole after a few days, but all she had received was a smile or a quick kiss on the forehead.

But she hadn’t kissed her.

She hadn’t kissed her for a week, and it was what was bothering Waverly the most.

She hadn’t touched her either, not really. She had hold her hand, cuddled with her, but her lips hadn’t tasted hers for far too long. Her hands had stayed on her sides or back, brushing lightly, making Waverly crave for more, even a single skin-to-skin touch, but everytime she had tried to kiss or touch her, she had been turned down. Nicole was doing it gently, giving her excuses, turning her head slightly so her kiss would land on her cheek, but as gentle as she could be, rejection was rejection, and each and every time it happened hurt her.

Something was wrong, and Waverly had tried to give time and space to the woman she loved, but patience was not something the Earps were known for.

So after a week playing along Nicole’s avoiding game, she had decided to confront her once and for all.

After spending her day working on a new case while Wynonna was away, she had headed to Nicole’s house, taking note that she wasn’t here despite her shift being over for what she knew. Frowning slightly, the brunette went to the kitchen, busying herself by cooking. Once diner was ready, she made herself comfortable in the couch and took a book she had left there, trying to distract herself.

Lost in her thoughts more than into the story she was trying to read, Waverly jumped when the front door opened all of sudden.

“Hey Waves, I didn’t know you’d be here tonight,” smiled Nicole as she dropped her backpack on the floor, kicking her shoes off.

“Surprise,” smiled the brunette, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes, “I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

Nicole just nodded as she approached the couch, gently cupping her cheeks as she stood behind her.

“Thank you for making diner, you didn’t have to,” she whispered before kissing her forehead.

Her touch was too short for Waverly’s taste, but she let her go, watching her go grab the plates before coming back handing one to her before sitting on the armchair.

“How was your day? I haven’t heard much from you or Wynonna today.”

“It was okay, Wynonna probably was at Shorty’s so that might explain why it was so calm...”

“And you? Still working on that file you told me about?”

“I finished that one yesterday, I thought I’d told you that,” replied Waerly, setting her plate still hafl full on the table in front of her.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I got caught up in my own work. Still have a lot to do actually.”

The redhead let herself fall a bit more into the armchair finishing her meal, making small talk with her girlfriend, but even if she was trying to cover it, it was pretty clear to Waverly that she wasn’t fully with her.

“You seem pretty tired,” she said as she made a move to get up, “is everything fine?”

Nicole got up quicker, letting her know that she could stay on the couch as she took the plates.

“Yeah, don’t worry, we just have been really busy.”

Waverly searched for her eyes as she passed by, but she avoided her, and it just was too much.

Feeling her temper rise at the same time fear started to creep in her head, she stood up and walked in the kitchen, facing Nicole’s back while she was doing the dishes. She waited until she turned around, and the look she received was not what she expected.

"Can we talk?"

"Can we do it later? I still have some things to do." She answered, already moving to escape from her girlfriend.

"I'm tired of waiting, Nicole," she let out, frustration rising inside her.

"And I'm tired of a lot of things Waverly!"

"I'm sorry, are you yelling at me?"

Nicole ran her hand through her hair and let out a loud sigh, stopping her track, her head hanging low as she closed her eyes for a second before turning around, watching Waverly.

"I tried," started the brunette, her fists balled at her sides, "I'm really trying you know! I've been giving you time and space, I didn't push even if you know patient is not something I am, but I'm doing it for you!"

Nicole just stared at her, arms crossed over her torso, her jaw clenched tight, and it made Waverly explode.

"Say something!" She shouted, anger getting the best of her after so many time spent keeping it in check.

"What do you want me to say?"

"So this is all I'm gonna get? The silence treatment? Am I not worth the smallest explanation?"

"Come on Waves, you're overthinking all of this," retorted Nicole.

"Am I though? You've been distant, barely talking or looking at me these days."

"It's not true!"

"Stop lying to yourself Nicole! You haven't even kissed me once!"

Unable to hold Nicole's stare any longer, Waverly turned around and walked to the kitchen table, letting herself fall onto a chair, holding back her tears as footsteps approached on her back.

"So that's all that truly matters to you?" Asked Nicole with a chuckle, her eyebrows high as she placed herself in front of her, sitting across the table, "You only want to talk because of sex?"

"That's not true and you know it, stop playing with my nerves now."

"But would we be here if I had taken you to bed at least once this week?"

"Stop provoking me Nicole!" Erupted the youngest Earp, "You not touching or kissing me is just another sign that something's wrong and you're avoiding it. You're running away from something and you're constantly pushing me away and I have enough. I've tried, but you keep rejecting me over and over again and I can't take it anymore."

Nicole's eyes looked back at hers, and she caught a glimpse of something behind the dark brown frustration. There was hurt in those eyes, hurt and fear and so many emotions she didn't know how Nicole hadn't become insane.

"We need to talk whatever it is that got you like that out. So please Nicole, open up to me."

"I keep seeing you kissing her," she finally let out.

Waverly took a steadying breath, fiddling with her rings, not daring to look at her girlfriend. The weight of the words left unsaid was heavy on her shoulders now, it had been getting heavier each day passing after it happened, and now it was time for them to put this weight down before it became too much to carry.

"It was a terrible mistake, and I wish I could take it back, I really do, but I was drunk and lost, and we were fighting…"

"So what? Every time we're gonna have a fight you're going to run away and kiss somebody else?"

The words had left her lips before she could even think properly, and she regretted them the moment the last one was pronounced.

Waverly looked at her then, her eyes stuck into hers for a second before she stood up.

"I'm sorry Waves, it's not..."

"No," the brunette cut her, holding a hand up to stop her from making a move, standing there in silence, her jaw clenched tight.

Nicole stayed silent, unable to find the right words to say, but her eyes imploring the woman in front of her.

"Please," she whispered, stretching her hand over her slowly.

"I guess I'm going to run away once more."

Waverly turned quickly after that, walking fast through the living room of the house, but Nicole jumped right after her, her heart beating faster at the words she had just heard.

"Waverly please don't go away!"

"Why?" She retorted, abruptly stopping to face Nicole a few feet from the front door, "Because you're so scared I will do exactly what you said? You have so little faith in me that you think I'll cheat on you the minute things are going to be difficult between us?"

"Because I'm scared of losing you."

The anger burning through her eyes then changed, replaced by something that looked awfully like sadness and hurt to Nicole.

"Why are you with me if you don't trust me?"

"I trust you, I swear I do."

"But?" Pushed Waverly, holding her gaze.

She hated this, all of it. She hated that she hadn't been able to hold back her temper, she hated that they had left things go on as if nothing had happened, and she hated that she hadn't been able to sort it by herself before it came to this point.

"It's just that..." She started, biting her lips, "Sometimes I have these voices in the corner of my head that whisper things to me, and I know it's fear speaking but knowing it doesn't make it stop."

Silence then fell between them, and it was worse than fighting somehow. She held Waverly's gaze for as long as she could, but exposing her insecurities was definitely not something she was used to or liked to do, and she had to turn her head, not sure if she could endure the emotions whirling into those hazel eyes in front of her.

"These voices... What do they tell you?"

She tried. She really tried to stay where she was and tried to face Waverly and look at her and open her mouth to speak, but she couldn't. She was a sentence away to lose her, and it was something she wouldn't bear, she knew it too damn well after what had happened with the DNA tests.

Shame and guilt came back with full force, and she felt herself take half a step back.

"Nicole?" Tried again Waverly, moving a bit closer.

Her movement made the taller woman's heart flutter. Maybe she could do it. She had to try at least, for Waverly, for herself and what they had together, she had to.

"It's silly, I shouldn't even have brought this up, I'm sorry."

"It's not silly if it bothers you that much Nicole," countered the smaller woman, "now talk to me."

She was trying, God she was really trying to do it, but voicing her fears was not something she was used to do.

"Please, don't shut me out." Tried Waverly again, taking another step closer.

"Waverly... Am I enough?"

"What do you mean?"

"Am I enough to you? Is what I can offer you, the future we can have together, my feelings for you, is that enough?"

"No."

Nicole stopped breathing. She stopped thinking, everything around her starting to be incredibly slow. Her legs were threatening to let her fall when she felt a hand grab hers.

"No, listen to me, Nicole Haught. It's not enough, it's far from that. It's more than I ever thought I could have, more than I dreamed to."

"Really?"

"Yes Nicole. Have I ever said or done something that made you doubt that? I mean besides..."

Waverly didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to. The silence that followed was a clear answer, and a painful one for both of them.

She let go of Nicole's hand, and the ginger haired woman immediately missed the warmth of her skin against hers.

"Nicole..."

"I know, baby," she interrupted, looking up to the brunette standing in front of her, though the hurt she saw in her eyes felt like someone had stabbed her right in the chest, "I know that it didn't mean a thing when you kissed Rosita."

"But it matters to you, and I'm sorry."

Nicole opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She had pushed her feelings aside for some time now, but she could only go for so long. Nibbling at her lips, wanting to reassure Waverly but being too uncertain of herself to do so, she looked to the ceiling, holding back her tears kind of lost with all the emotions going on in her head.

"I know what I did was wrong, and yes it meant absolutely nothing to me, because there is not a doubt in my heart about how much I love you, but it doesn't mean it's okay. Being drunk and angry is not an excuse, and I'm aware of it."

Nicole nodded silently, still nibbling at her lips.

"Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it," Waverly insisted, taking Nicole's hand in hers, "I truly am sorry for everything that happened."

"I believe you Waves," whispered Nicole, slowly raising her other hand to her girlfriend's cheek to cup it, her thumb brushing her skin gently, "I really do."

"But?"

Nicole sighed, closing her eyes for a second.

"I don't know. I really want to forgive you and forget it, I've already forgiven you but..." She admitted, "I guess I just need time."

Waverly nodded gently, coming a bit closer, searching for her touch. She obliged, letting her forehead fall against the smaller girl's one, inhaling deeply, breathing in her perfume.

Neither of them talked for a moment, until Nicole let out a small laugh.

"I'm a hypocrite," she let out, taking a step back from their embrace.

Waverly frowned at her.

"Why are you saying that?"

"I'm here talking about being hurt, but you're not the only one who did something wrong."

"It's okay Nicole..." Started the brunette.

"No it's not. It's not fair that you're the only one apologizing when I've lied to you and I've hidden things from you."

Silence fell upon them once again, Nicole sensing Waverly getting lost in her thoughts. She slowly let go of Nicole's hand, taking it back to herself, wrapping her arms around her torso.

"Lying to you about your DNA tests and opening them was obviously wrong, it wasn't my place to do it, I should've known better..."

"I'm not gonna say I was happy about that," replied Waverly, "but it’s behind us now, I know that you only had good intentions when you did it.”

“What about Shae?”

The brunette turned her head at the mention of the woman, her wife, and let her back hit the wall. To be honest, Nicole thought she would’ve reacted with more anger than that.

“I was obviously not happy about that either, but...”

She ran a hand through her face, and Nicole saw how tired she truly was.

“I just wish you would’ve talked to me about that so I wouldn’t have learned about your wife this way.”

“I know I should have, but when? Everything happened so fast between us, and when there weren’t revenants it was Wynonna interrupting us, or some crazy-ass woman biting me, and would you have accepted to be with me knowing I was married?”

“I would have accepted you no matter what Nicole,” admitted Waverly, looking up into her eyes, “I thought you knew that.”

Words failed Nicole as she lost herself in Waverly’s stare. The love she found there, and so many other things she can’t clearly identify because of how fast they’re whirling into those hazel eyes she has found herself lost into so many times, it all came at once at her, and she couldn’t resist anymore.

Slowly opening her arms with a question in her eyes, she let out a sigh of relief as her girlfriend quickly moved, closing the distance between them, her arms snaking around her waist, hands holding the shirt of her uniform tightly. Waverly’s body fitted perfectly in her arms, and no matter how many times she had found herself thinking that, it had never ceased to amaze her.

Silence surrounded them but it felt lighter this time, both taking time to enjoy the closeness they’d missed.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant and silent, I just… I was mad at myself and I wanted to sort it out by myself in my head so I wouldn’t hurt you.” She murmured, her eyes closed.

“I guess we have to make some progress on communication, but it’s okay Nicole, we can do it.”

Nicole’s hand slid on the smaller woman’s face as she tilted her chin, smiling at her as she connected their forehead, her other hand still on her hair.

“But just to be sure, you aren’t married anymore, are you?”

A laugh escaped her mouth as she placed her hands on Waverly’s waist, pulling her in, nuzzling her nose with hers.

“No, I’m not married anymore, everything’s good.”

“Good,” smiled Waverly as she tied her hands behind Nicole’s neck, “because I’m not sharing you.”

“You never did, and never will.”

Waverly brought herself closer, her face hidden in the crook of her neck, and Nicole couldn’t suppress the shiver she felt as her lips connected with her skin.

“So, no more secrets, okay?”

“No more secrets,” quietly agreed Nicole, her arms tightening around the smaller woman.

Things were finally settling back into place, the weight on Nicole’s chest slowly going away, pushed by all the love she could feel emanating from her girlfriend.

“There’s something...” started Waverly after a moment.

Nicole just made a small sound, her chin resting on top of the brunette head. She felt her move and looked down, seeing Waverly’s eyes going between hers and down, looking quite unsure, nibbling at her bottom lip.

“What is it baby?” She asked gently.

Trying to catch her eyes, she started to make small circles on her sides with her thumbs, hoping it’d sooth her nerves.

“You asked me if you were enough for me, but am I?”

“Of course you are, you’re more than enough Waves.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hey,” breathed Nicole as she caught one of Waverly’s hand playing with her collar, leaving a kiss on her palm, “of course I’m sure, I love you.”

“And I love you, but sometimes I can’t help but think that I’ve dragged you into all this Earp thing and you don’t deserve it. I mean, you were right when you said things happened fast between us, and I don’t want you to be stuck with me. I want you to chose me, I want you to be with me because that’s what you want, not because you feel like you have to.”

“Waverly Earp, I can assure you that I’ve chosen you because I wanted to, because I wanted and still want you. I’ve wanted you the minute I entered Shorty’s and saw you in that soaked top, and ever since I’ve never stopped wanting you. Of course it’d be easier without all the Earp mess around, but there is no curse, demons or big sister with an infuriating sense of timing that could keep me away from you. Please don’t ever doubt that.”

Smiling tenderly as she brushed a tear away from Waverly’s cheek, she gladly bent over her as her small hands cradled her face, pulling her down for a kiss. She’d missed the taste of her lips, their soft pressure against her own, she had missed their connection.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she apologized after pulling away.

“I’m sorry I did it too.”

The little pout she wore on her face made Nicole smile, her dimple showing. Waverly’s eyes lit up at her expression, joy finally coming back fully on her face as she caressed her girlfriend’s cheek, her thumb lingering around her dimple.

“We’re good?”

“We’re good,” agreed Nicole.  
“Good,” whispered the brunette, “cause I don’t like when we’re fighting.”

Her voice was muffled as she nestled against Nicole’s chest, her arms back around her middle, and the sheriff deputy of Purgatory couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, her nose buried into her hair.

“I know baby, I don’t like that either.”

And yeah there were still things they needed to discuss, they both had progress to make on speaking to the other, but for now, it was okay. They had time for that, and taking it step by step was probably the best way to do it.

“So...”

“So,” echoed Nicole, feeling Waverly’s lips slowly moving on her skin, leaving a trail of soft kisses down her neck.

Opening her eyes when she realized she’d closed them, she found her moving one of her hands up on the front of her uniform, her movement a bit too slow to be innocent as her fingers worked expertly on the highest button of her shirt, undoing it before placing a kiss on her collar bone, hazel eyes tempting honey ones.

“I know you said you still have work to do, but do you think you can take the night off?”

Trying to be a bit more persuasive, Waverly got on her tiptoes and kissed that spot right under Nicole’s ear, making the taller woman draw their hips closer, her hands holding her a bit more firmly.

“Oh for you, Waverly Earp,” she smirked, wrapping her arms behind her thighs, lifting her with ease, “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do.”


End file.
